Witches Familiars: Witchery of the White Sow

Witchery of the White Sow

The pig shares its symbolic value with the boar. In Mesopotamia, at Catal Huyuk, in shrine EVI8, rows of breasts molded over jaws and tusks of boars express the idea that life comes from death.- Buffie Johnson

But, I hear you say, “Isn’t the White Sow the beast of Cerridwen, and is she not a Lammas Goddess, a Goddess of sacrifice? Why bring her to darken the door of Springtime? What has she got to do with flowering  Beltane?”

Let me tell you a little story.

As the trees are reflected in a mirror lake, their branches reaching across the water from their roots into the underwater sky, so do I climb the branches of the Underworld Tree from roots to branches that plunge deep into the earth. Before me is light for which I aim — a green sky shining between the leaves. Out in the light, I reach the topmost twigs, and drop down to the green grass below. Lifted by a wind, I float to the low hills glimmering on the horizon. Inside the door of the hill the Watcher,cloaked in scarlet and black, waits. A penny for your thoughts? I drop a coin into box and find the opening that leads into the Palace of the Faery Queen.


The Faery Hall at Beltane

The dome of the Faery Hall is supported by pillars of trees. Its floor is composed of black and white stones filed flat as tiles set out in squares like a chess board. On a green terrace are two carved and ancient thrones where sit the Horned God, and the Lady with Antlers, the Faery Queen. When they see me enter, their gray eyes glitter, they stir. The low bells toll, and the drums roll under the earth.

The Faery Court surrounds me, full of focused intent. They wear the clothes of Medieval France. Their movements are graceful, coy, unpredictable. Do not be fooled. The Faery, though beautiful, are one with nature and, like nature, they are wild.

A horn sounds  near and far away. A huge white sow enters the Hall. Waving black steamers float around her head. She sniffs the air when she sees me and next thing I know, I am under her feet. As she tramples me with her cloven hoofs, I hear a great drum beating, but it is not a drum. It is the unified breathing of the Faery Court, keeping time to her stomping and grinding me into the black and white stones of the floor. Soon, I am nothing but a smudge of darkness on the white square, and a spray of gray dust on the black ones.

There is silence, and then a blare of trumpets coming from somewhere between the pillar-trees.  Suddenly I see myself, the way all dreamers do, sitting sideways, and unladylike, on the back of the great white sow. I am dressed in a green gown, my waving golden hair is encircled with flowers. Hawthorn flowers entwine the Sow, who is also crowned May Queen, She Who is Reborn in Spring. Smiling, the Sow Goddess dances on the black and white floor, taking me with her. I raise my hands, palm up, as if to catch the rays of the sun. The Faery Court claps and laughs. Soon we are dancing in the bright green light as the Sow carries me around the Faery Hall.

This vision was prophetic. Literally. For when the long seven years in the dark forest of the Horned God’s initiation was over, I went out to a May Day celebration at the Deveraux Pub in London, and was made May Queen by a drawing of lots.

Here is what remains of my hawthorn crown. It has traveled many miles with me. They were elder witches that gave it to me.

Beltane and the Underworld Goddess

Beltane comes to pass in the sun sign of Taurus. At mid tide, the Sacred Cow sees her self in the mirror of a Full Scorpio Moon. As Taurus is birth and the nurturing of life, Scorpio is the sting of death whose weapon is the blade of sacrifice.

Because they were less expensive to feed and care for than bulls, sows appear as lesser sacrificial animals in vegitative festivities. Afterward they were eaten by worshippers who thus partook of the essence of the divinity. In Crete the pig was a favorite sacrificial animal at the Peak Sanctuary on Mount Juktas and other mountaintop shrines consecrated to the Lady of the Beasts. In Crete the Crone, as Goddess of Wisdom, takes the form of a Sow... Buffie Johnson, Lady of the Beasts

Triplicity

Fertility, death, resurrection are the threefold cycle of Earth. The pig with her litter of piglets, sucking her to the bones. The Sow that eats her young. The sacrificed pig who fertilizes the grain, whose death is the promise of life to come.

The Sow is the creature of the Underworld — she lies under the Earth, one with the soil seeded with grain. Divinized, the pig’s blood is given to the soil from which the Goddess springs up in the long days of May. All  spiral into, and out of each other, feeding on each other as life feeds on itself. Close to the forces of nature, the ancients lived these cycles day after day, night after night, season after season. The Full Moon in Scorpio reminded them, that in the fullness of Spring, the darkness of Death was waiting.

Sow and Reap

As early as the seventh millenium B.C.E., the sow was involved in vegetation rituals. The pig’s habit of rooting in the soil with its tusks is a primal image of the plowing of the soil. the sow’s fast growth, and wealth of piglets, made her a creature of plenty. The existence of an ancient Sow Oracle attests to her transformative nature, and intimacy with the powers of fertility — the main concern of agrarian cultures worldwide. Ancient votive figures of pigs have grains pressed into their bodies, making them one with the crops. Neolithic Priestesses wore sow masks to represent the Goddess as they copulated in the fields during Beltane.

The association of sowing and reaping with iconography of Old Man, Death, are well known.

The Sow Goddess acts as an epiphany of the Lady of the Plants. The Greek Goddess, Demeter carries a pig and a torch into Hades when she searches for Persephone. It is no accident that the only witness to Hades’ abduction of Persephone is a swine herd, and that the swineherd reports the rape to Hecate, Goddess of the dark side of the Moon.

As the pig is sacrificed to the Goddess to make the crops grow, the boar is often the agency of death. Set takes the form of a boar to kill Osiris. The Irish God Diarmid is killed by a boar — in fact many Grail Knights are wounded in the thigh by boars to be rescued by Faery Queens. The rites of Tammuz follow the same boar slain pattern as all the dying and resurrecting Gods of the Grain.

Cerridwen

The Welsh Goddess, Cerridwen, has long associations with the White Sow, magic, and poetry. She is a Goddess of doorways between death and rebirth. A shape shifter, Inspiratrice, and witch, it was she that trampled me in the Faery Hall to initiate me into her Mysteries. It was she who dogged my steps for nine years.

Nine: Number of the months of human gestation. Sacred number of the Moon.

The  Black Book of Carmarthen  contains two poems by the bard Cuhelyn that associate Cerridwen with seeds, and therefore fertility and growth in the darkness of the Underworld. As she seeds the Earth, she seeds the imagination of poet, becoming his dark Muse:

A successful song of fruitful praise, relating to the bustling course of the host,

According to the sacred ode of Cyridwen, the goddess of various seeds,

The various seeds of poetic harmony, the exalted speech of the graduated minstrel–BBC III

Her Name

Scottish, Welsh) [KARE-id-ooín or KARE-id-win] Moon Goddess; Great Mother; Grain Goddess; Goddess of Nature. The white-corpse eating sow representing the Moon. Her symbol was a white sow. Death, fertility, regeneration, inspiration, magic, astrology, herbs, science, poetry, spells, knowledge.

Cerridwen is the goddess of dark prophetic powers. She is the keeper of the cauldron of the underworld, in which inspiration and divine knowledge are brewed. She is often equated with the famous Greek crone, Hecate, and to the Irish Badb. She is also sometimes related to the Greek Muses, only in a more violent and dark form.

Cerridwen’s name has many meanings that signify Moon, Sickle, Sow.

Cerid-wen: fair, beloved

Cerit: hooked, crooked Hook, sickle, ben: woman Crooked Backed Woman ( Sounds like the moon to me.)

Ceritwen: crooked white one

One can see that the round shape of the pig suggests pregnancy, the Moon. The cyclical swelling of her belly with unborn piglets decreasing to bone thinness after birth, mimics the phases of the Moon. While in Mexico, I saw a mother pig almost devoured by her suckling piglets who were almost the same size as she. The connotations of the life feeding on darkness as the sow almost dies to feed her young, are resonant. The crooked back of the Sow mirrors the crooked sickle moon, whose belly is in darkness.

The Moon, as has been discussed before, is the vessel of fertility, the place from whence the souls of the unborn descend to earthly incarnation.

Full Moon in Scorpio

Give me more death. — Pablo Neruda

The Poet and his Muse.

The artist must be taken sometimes against his or her will. The Muse possesses the artist, for the artist is the instrument through which the Goddess speaks. The creative process is a fire. It brings illumination, radiation, and sometimes pain, when one comes to close to the flames. The Goddess, Cerridwen, kept the Cauldron of Poetry and Rebirth. As Gwion’s fingers are spattered by the Witch’s brew, he gains the gift of prophetic speech. If he enters the cauldron he will be twice born, divinized, springing up like the grain from the soil of death. He becomes Taliesin, poet, prophet, divine son of the Goddess.

Beltane, your flowers spring from the death of winter. When the sun and moon are joined in the sign of the solar Bull and the lunar Cow, they procreate in the dark. The grass grows, the flowers bloom, the birds feast on buds, and worms that make the gardens fertile.

Merciless, the moon soon rises, and like a mirror, shines back to the joyous Great Mother Goddess her other face: Scorpion Queen of Samhain.

The cycles moves around and around, eternally, or as long as there is life on Earth. Sacrifice, Purification, Divination, and Rebirth. The transfigured Sow Goddess rules Beltane.

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12 thoughts on “Witches Familiars: Witchery of the White Sow

  1. I REALLY LIKED YOUR MAY QUEEN STORY, AND I HAVE TO SAY THAT IT MAKES, I DON T KNOW HOW TO SAY THAT HERE, OR IF CAN , I THINK I SHOULD, BUT I DON T WNAT ANYBODY TO MISUNDERSTAND, BUT MY WILL IS ERECT.IT IS FOR ME A SIGN OF GOOD HEALTH, CAUSE IT APPEALS TO SOMETHING DEEP AND OLD, BUT ALSO IT ALSO SHOWS, THAT IT INVOKES FERTILITY ITSELF.IT IS NOT A SEXUAL REMARK.IT IS JUST A VERY POWERFUL SYMBOL BRINGING ME BACK TO THE ROOTS.IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH TODAY S VIEWS ON SEXUALITY, CAUSE IT IS SPIRITUALLY ROOTED FIRST.IT REMINDS ME OF THE STONES ERECT,OF MAIDENS DANCING, SCATTERING THE HARVEST UPON THE EARTH.IF THIS REMARK, IS TOO SEXUAL, AND I M NOT GOING INTO THE DETAILS, I WILL UNDERSTAND THAT MY REMARK IS REMOVED.
    WHEN I LIVED IN THE FOREST SOMETIMES I WENT TO TAKE CARE OF HORSES, SO AT NIGHT TIME I HAD TO WALK BACK FOR 90 MINUTES TO MY PLACE. CERTAIN NIGHTS WERE DARKER THAN OTHERS, SOMETIMES I COULDN T SEE ANYTHING AND I TRIED TO WAK BACK WITH THE MY MEMORY, WHICH MAKES EVERYTHING MORE DIFFICULT. THE FOREST WAS FULL OF BOARS, AND YOU COULD HEAR EM GATHERING ALONG THE STREAMS ACROSS THE FOREST.THERE YOU CAN ONLY USE YOUR HEART TO GO HOME, SO YOU HAD TO LISTEN TO THEIR SOUNDS THEIR MOVEMENTS, THEY WERE ACTUALLY TELLING YOU, BE CAREFUL WE RE HERE, SO YOU MADE YOUR WAY ACCORDING TO THEIR NOISES.AT ONRE POINT I EVEN CLIMBED A TREE, CAUSE I COULDN T GO FURTHER, I KNOW THER EWAS A MALE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR ME, TELLING ME NOT TO COME CLOSER, BUT ALSO TELLING ME THAT I HAD TO PASS.
    SO I TOOK A WAY AROUND BUT IT MADE IT WORSE, AND I ALSO MADE ME COME BACK TO THE START. THE PATH WAS DEFINITELY SPIRITUAL AND NOT PHYSICAL, I WAS AN ENCOUNTER CALLING TO THE SPIRIT.
    DURING FULL MOON, THE FOREST CAME TO LIFE, THE SUN BEING SOMETIMES TO BLINDING.THE MOON IS MORE A GENTLE LIGHT THAT IS NOT STRIKING BUT BATHING THE FOREST , CRADLING THE LIFE OUT OF IT. YOU FEEL OBSERVED, ALSO IRONICALLY CAUSE YOU CAN SEE, S YOU FEEL SEEN. THE ANIMALS WHERE ALL THERE IN SPIRIT ALONG MY PATH WATCHING ME, ASKING ME TO LOOK AT MYSELF ALONG THE PATH AND NOT TO MIND THEM. CAUSE THEY ASKED ME O TAP WITHIN THEIR POWER THAT I HAD WITHIN MYSELF. ALSO DURING HE FULL MOON I FELT A LOT OF FOXES AROUND, AND I T MADE ME REALISE I WAS FIGHTING A KIND OF MADNESS, BETWEEN GOING HOME ON A PHYSIVAL PATH AND STILL BEING LOST INSIDE. IT WAS LIKE DON T MOVE JUST GET LOST, CAUSE YOU JUST WANT TO GET LOST AS A WAY TO ATTAIN FREEDOM.YOU RE IN BETWEEN TWO WORLDS AND YOU HAVE TO PIERCE THE VEIL, BY BEING THE SUN, AND BURN THROUGH THE CONFUSION OF YOUR OWN SELF. THE CRADING IS GENTLE, YOU FOLLOW THE MOVEMENTS THEN YOU FEEL YOUR SOUL BEING CRADLED UNTIL YOU FORGET THOSE MOVEMENTS, AND IN A SENSE OF UNITY YOU FIND THE OPEN DOOR.
    AS TO TH EPART ABOUT THE THE POET AND THE MUSE, I AGREE, THAT IT IS SOMETIMES PAINFUL, AND I FEEL THIS IS CAUSED FOR ME BY THE CRUST THAT HINDERS THE FLOW OF THE ENERGY, AGAIN THIS A SPIRITUAL SEXUAL ACT, SO YES SOMETIMES THE GODESS SEEMS TO KIND OF POSSESS YOU, BUT THIS IS CAUSE D BY THE FACT THAT YOU ARE TRYING TO POSSESS HER. THIS WHERE YOU LEARN TO RELINQUISH THE FORCE, BY JOINING THEM TOGETHER, UNTIL IT BECOMES ONE AND HARMONIOUS. IT BOTHERS ME I HAVE TO SAY TO SEE THE POET AS AN INSTRUMENT, CAUSE IN HARMONY BOTH EXTREMES GET LOST, THE GODESS IS AN INFLUENCE THAT HAS NO SHAPE, THE POET GIVES IT SHAPE, AND THEN THE CIRCLE IS COMPLETE, AND THEN THE GODESS DESCENDS UPON YOU AGAIN AND SO ON AND SO ON. THE CIRCLE GROWS AND YOUR INNER LIFE GROWS, YOU UNDERSTAND THAT COUNTRIES ARE UNIMPORTANT OR POSSESSION UNIMPORTANT, YOU JUST GROW,AND BECOME RICHER AND RICHER.IN FRENCH, YOU SAY YOU CANT LIVE ON LOVE AND FRESH WATER, ON NE PEUT PAS VIVRE D AMOUR ET D EAU FRAICHE, IT IS A LITTLE BIT CHEEZY, BUT IT IS TRUE FOR ME , YOU CAN LIVE LIKE THAT THIS THE TRUE NOURISHMENT. THE INTERPLAY OF ENRGIES FEEDING ITSELF AND GROWING AND GROWING FOR EVER UNTIL THE GREAT WORK IS ACCOMPLISHED. ALSO IF SOME PARTS OF YOU ARE BLCKED THE ENERGY OF THE GODESS WILL FLOW ONLY THROUGH THE PARTS THAT ARE LIT, DEFORMING THE OUTPUT, AND UNFORTUNATELY SENDING YOU THOSE DEFORMITIES BACK . IF YOU LOOK AT THEM, YOU CAN THEN CHOOSE TO OPN YOURSELF TO A GREATER LOVE, OPEN YOUR ARMS TO HER MUCH MORE, AND RECEIVE HER IN PLENTY, WITHOUT CONDITIONS, THE THING IS TO OPEN OPEN AND OPEN MORE. THE SEXUAL ACT IS PERMANENT,WHEN I OPEN A DOOR I USUALLY SE E MYSELF ENGAED IN A SEXUAL WITH THE GODESS, DEPENDING ON WHAT IS HAPPENING AND HOW IT IS HAPPENING, I KNOW I AM WITH HER, IT LASTS FOR A FEW SECONDS, AND I FEEL MY SOUL ENJOYING THAT MOMENT, CAUSE EVRYTHING DISPPEARS AROUND ME, THERS IS JUST BLISS.SO IF YOU SEE ME WITH A BIG SMILE THAT RIPS MY FACE APART IT S BECAUSE, I AM HAVING SEX WITH HER.FOR EXAMPLE IT HAPPENED TO ME YESTERDAY WHEN I THREW SOME OLD STUFF AWAY. CERTAIN THINGS PREVENT A FULL CONNECTION SO YOU HAVE TO GET RID OF EM.THEN YOU EXPERIENCE A FEELING OF WELL BEING.IT S LIKE A FEATHER FALLING ON THE WATER.,

    YOUR INNITIATION IS REALLY BEAUTIFUL, AND IT FEELS NICE TO BE MAY QUEEN,THAT IS SO PURE

  2. AND ALSO I WAN TTO ADD,THAT DEPENDING ON HOW MUCH YOUR SPIRITUAL ARTERIES ARE OPEN, YOU WILL FEEL MORE OR LESS DRAINED.WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH SOMEBODY WETHER SPIRITUALLY OR PHYSICALLY, I MEAN THEY GO HAND IN HAND, IT IS LIKE A SPIRITUAL GROWTH, YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS HAS CHANGED, BUT ALSO YOU FEEL REPLENISHED IF BOTH PARTS ARE COMPLETLY OPEN AND IN HARMONY. IN MY OWN EXPERIENCE, WHEN I HAVE SEX WITHIN ME OR HAD WITH SOMEONE, I ALWAYS FELT DRAINED AFTER, AND THAT WAS FOR ME THE SIGN THAT YOUR PARTNER DOESN T GIVE YOU BACK WHAT YOU GIVE TO HIM. IT IS IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU LOSE YOUR LIFE FORCE LIKE THAT.IT ALSO TRUE FOR A WOMAN, THE SAME THING CAN HAPPEN TO HER. SO IF YOU RE A PLUMBER JUST BOTHER ABOUT OPENING ALL THE ARTERIES, IF YOU RE AN ELECTRICIAN SAME THING, NATURE HAS DONE IT ALL FOR YOU. YOU CHOSE WHETHER YOU BLOCK IT OR UNBLOCK IT

  3. THE GODDESS TOO GAINS HER POWERS FRM THE POET UNFORTUNATELY I LACK THE VISION TO TALK ABOUT IT, BUT HER CAULDRON BECOMES DEEPER, SHE GAINS IN RECEPTIVITY, UNDERSTANDING, AND THE ABILITUY TO CREATE, TO MATERIALIZE, IT IS LIKE PREGNANCY, SHE BECOMES PREGNANT WITH ALL LIFE, THANKS TO HER YOU HAVE THE TREES AND ANIMALS, IT GIVES HER A SHAPE, THEN SHE REALLY BECOMES THE MATTER, OR THE MOTHER, THE IDEA HER E IS TO LOSE THE SEPARATION AND TO BECOME “THE WORLD”

  4. 7. Black As The Devil Painteth

    [Poem by Raymond, Music by Theatre of Tragedy]

    An artist is what is call’d the self that the brush holdeth -
    Though hath it then caringly caress’d the Canvas of to-morrow?,
    O Canvas! for thee I hold my tool – still! passionless it quivereth,
    Minding not that my hands are more than apt;
    My Muse,

    Where is hidden
    The blue-huéd arch’neath the High Heaven’s rich emblazonry,
    The flowery meadow, embrac’d by the horizon – snowflakéd and aery mountains,
    In which the barebreastéd maidens dance to the lay o’ midsummer,
    Aloft the distant lazy flapping of the doves in vainglore.

    O Canvas!, wherefore canst thou these images not allow? -
    I deem a projection of my Theatre they should be! -
    Then, I challenge thee the wisdom of naysaying the yearns o’ mine -
    What is this unforseen that not enjoineth light shades to be skillfully paintéd?

    The raven sky prey’d on by the snowfill’d, blustery clouds,
    Unadornéd the meadow – hunger driveth the wolf out of the wood,
    The maidens chainéd and whippéd within a dreary dungeon -
    And, lo! ‘twixt the wizen roses a mossy grave:
    “The Devil is as Black as he Painteth” -
    O Canvas! wherefore?…

  5. Your thoughts are amazing. I think I am saying the same things just more oblique. I will be posting my Initiation story with the Horned God when I feel I can do it justice. Its in here some where already — part of it. In another post.
    Thanks for the input. It adds a lot.

  6. The poem is awesome. Your description of the boars in the forest is haunting. The moon and the foxes. Pigs are not native to the Americas, so we do not have wild boars. How often, in the Arthurian legends, have knights been astray by wild boars, with their moon-like tusks, straight into the Otherworld?
    It reminds me that all the famous Celtic bards, Merlin, Taliesin, Tristan went into the forest and went mad. But were they really mad or simply wild? The Earth is the plane of duality, hence it is innately sexual. The forest, and all wild things, are intensely sexual because the life force demands procreation. It is interesting that when the bards went mad in the forest, there was often a sexual component: Tristan’s love for Isuelt, Merlin’s capture by Vivienne.
    It makes me think that all these types who would raze the forest, ‘civilize’ nature — the big game hunters who kill big cats and wolves for sport — must have deep issues regarding their sexual adequacy.
    You are right about merging with the Goddess, but it a difficult transition back to the mundane civilized world when your psyche is that open to the Mystery. For Native Americans it spelled death. One must therefore isolate to preserve that purity, and how do that is where the pain lies.

  7. I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THE HUNTER S SEXUAL INADEQUACY, ALSO AS TO THE MADNESS IT IS MORE THE DIFFICULTY TO MAKE THE UNITY.
    AS TO THE ISOLATION, I UNDERSTAND THAT I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ISOLATED AND AT ONE POINT I FELT SO ISOLATED THAT I WENT INTO THE NORMAL WORLD AND LOST EVERYTHING AND I DEEPLY REGERT IT. TODAY I HOPE EVERYTHING IS COMING BACK AT THE SAME TIME I UNDERSTAND THAT MY ISOLATION IS JUST AN ILLUSION, I ALWAYS THOUGHT AND STILL THINK YOU JUST NEED ONE PERSON TO REIGN IN THAT KINGDOM, IN THE END OTHERS ARE MORE ISOLATED THAN ME, IF I HAVE TO STAY LIKE THAT UNTIL THE END OF MY LIFE THEN SO BE IT, BUT IT IS PAINFUL IT IS TRUE. THE MUNDANE CIVILIZED WORLD HAS HIS OWN MYSTERY WHICH IS ACTUALLY KILLING IT.THE UNMYSTERIASATION , SCIENCE AND ALL THAT.
    AS TO THE MADNESS THERE IS THE MADNESS THAT IS BROUGHT ON YOU BY OTHERS, AND THE ONE WHERE WHERE THE MYSTERY DOESN T FLOW IN THE MATTER, IN THE END THEY ALL GO HAND IN HANDIT IS JUST A LINK INTERIOR EXTERIOR, THE MUNDANE AND THE MYSTERY, I JUST WATCHED THE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST AGAIN AND IN THE END THEY STAY IN THE OTHERWORD, BECAUSE IT IS THE CIVILISED WORLD FOR THEM. THE IF SOMEBODY IS ATTRACTED TO THE MYSTERY, IT IS TO THEIR OWN THEY ARE ATTRACTED, THEY ARE SCARED AND DESTROY YOU, THE MYSTERY IS A MYSTERY AND YOU WALK LIKE THAT EVERYDAY. IT S INTERESTING THAT IT MEANS DEATH FOR THE INDIANS, THEIR RESERVATION EVENTHOUGH I DON T LIKE THAT IS THEIR PRESERVATION. UNFORTUNATUNATELY, THEY ARE ISOLATED FROM THE REST BUT THEN SOME PEOPLE ARE ATTRACTED TO THAT MYSTERY AND IT BECOMES LIFE, LIKE I FEEL IT IS FOR ME.

    I REMEMBER AND I KNOW MY MADNESS, IT NIS STILL THERE A LITTLE BIT, BUT THE FIRST THING I CAN REMEMBER IS HOW I WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH THE TREES CAUSE THE FOREST WAS A WOMAN FOR ME, BUT ALSO HOW I HAD TO TAKE OFF MY PIERCINGS CAUSE THEY FELT OUT OF PLACE, I WAS KIND OF SCARED OF THE COMMUNION WITH NATURE, BUT I LIKED TO BE NAKED FEEL THE WIND AND ROLL IN THE MUD AND GRASS. I THINK IT IS A KIND OF MADNESS THAT IS TEMPORARY CLEANSING ALSO, AND THEN OTHERS SEE YOU AS A BEAST TOO, AS YOU SAY IT YOU HAVE A MYSTERIOUS DOMAIN , AND I DEEPLY BELIEVE IN THAT , AND THAT YOU HAVE TO BRING IT INTO BEING IN A CIVILISED WORLD , CIVILISED MEANING CRUST. THEN YOU CANNOT JUST LIVE LIKE AN ANIMAL,WHAT PEOPLE PICTURE AS ANIMALS IS NOT REALLY WHAT AN ANIMAL IS , CIVILISED JUST MEANS HIDIN HERE. I AM AN ANIMAL WITH HUMAN FORM MAYBE. YOU CAN BE A HERMIT BY ISOLATING YOURSELF FROM THE WORLD, THEN YOU CAN BE HERMIT BY STANDING FOR YOUR OWN BELIEFS BY STILL BEING IN CONTACT WITH OTHERS THEN YOU VE GOT TEMPTATION ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WHEEL SO YOU HAVE TO BRING TEM TOGETHER IN A CIRCULAR MOVEMENT. THAT IS UNBREAKABLE. I THINK THAT THOSE PEOPLE WENT MAD BECAUSE SOMETHING DIED INSIDE OF THEM THEIR NATURE HAS BEEN HURT AND SO THEY LOOK FOR A SUBSTITUTE, THE DISCREPANCY RESULTS IN MADNESS, ITS MADNESS BY DESPAIR, BUT ALSO BROUGHT ABOUT BY INNER CONFLICTS.WHEN YOU ARE BLOCKED INSIDE AND A CANAL IS BLOCKED THE ENERGY TURNS AGAINST YOU, THEN EVERYTHING IS REVERSED AND REREVERSED, THE MADNESS RESULTS IN FINDING WHICH IS WHICH IS ALSO AND ILLUSION, BROUGHT ABOUT BY THE SEPERATION OF YOUR OWN SELF. IT IMPORTANT TO KEEP THE ANIMAL PART INTACT AND TO LOVE IT AS WELL, THEN IT MATERIALISES HARMONIOUSLY WITH ALL THE REST, IT IS A PRIMAL FORCE AS YOU SAYS ALSO THE BEGINNING, AND SOMETIMES IT IS CHAOS, WHEN IT IS UNLEASHED ALL AT ONCE.
    BUT STILL IT IS VERY DIFFICULT IN THE MUNDANE WORLD IF YOU RE A SLAVE, SO THE AIM IS AT LEAST TO BE YOUR OWN BOSS, THERE IS NO PLACE FOR YOU, WELL THEN YOU CREATE IT IT IS NOT A MATTER OF PHYSICAL PLACE , THAT IS WHY YOU HAVE TO GET LOST TO FIND YOUR WAY.
    THEM MAD IS RELATIVE, CIVILISATION IS RELATIVE, THEY ARE DEFINITIONS, BUT IT STILL IS VERY DISTURBING. I REMMEBER I HAD THIS PURITY DURING THAT TIME I WAS A LOT INTO BOOKS, I SPENT TIME ALONE AND ALONE, I WENT OUTTHERE, OR SO I THOUGHT. UNFORTUNATELY THERE WAS A LITTLE BIT THIS IDEA OF ESCAPE, AT THE SAME TIME IT FELT NATURAL, I WAS FLOATING ABOVE THE EARTH ALL THE TIME, AND I THOUGHT I F I GO ON I WON T BE BACK, I LL GO AWAY, I THOUGHT I AM ALONE SO BE IT, AND AT ONE POINT IT SCARED ME SO MUCH THAT I KING ATTACHED MYSELF TO THINGS LIKE MONEY, NOT OUT OF LOVE BUT BECAUSE OF THE PAIN, CAUSE I THOUGHT THE PAIN IS GOING TO KEEP ME GROUNDED. BUT THEN IF YOU RE OUTTHERE, YOU HAVE TO CREATE SOMETHING EARTHY, THAT IS STILL OUTTHERE.
    I AM REALLY TRYING TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION, I DON TKNOW IF I DID , I FEEL THE DOUBT CREEPING IN CONCERNING CIVILISATION, I DON T WORK A LOT FOR THEM, I SPEND ALL MY TIME ALONE, I DON T TALK SOMETIMES FOR WEEKS, AT THE MOMENT I HAVE A KIND OF LITTLE JOB, THAT I WILL LEAVE SOON, BECAUSE THEY CAUSE ME TOO MUCH PAIN, BUT WHAT IS GOOD IS THAT I HAVE A CONTACT THAT IS MINIMUM, AND SOMETIMES AND MORE AND MORE THE MYSTERY TALKS TO ME THROUGH THOSE PEOPLE, AND I CAN HEAR IT WHEN I AM NOT IN PAIN. ALONE, I FEEL SOMETIMES BATTLING IN MY HEAD AGAINST CIVILISATION, AT THE SAME TIME I FEEL IT IS ABOUT BEING TRUE TO YOURSELF, AND BEING COURAGEOUS ENOUGH TO HAVE ATTITUDES THAT VCAN BE INNOVATIVE AND CREATIVE. I DON T REALLY WANT ANYTHING FROM THOSE PEOPLE BUT TO LEAVE ME BE CAUSE I FEEL I DESERVE A CHANCE. STILL SOMETIMES WHE IT IS NECESSARY I FEEL THE CALL OF THE WOODS, SOMETIMES IN SIDE, SOMETIMES OUTSIDE. MADNESS CAN BE CREATION WHEN YOU GO THROUGH IT.NOT FIGHTING IT IS PROBABLY THE BEST WAY. IT IS GOING TO SOUND WEIRD BUT IF YOU CLAP YOUR HANDS REAL QUICKLY TOGETHER AND GENTLY, NO APPLAUDS, THEN YOU FEEL THAT THEY DO0N T GO APART AND THE MORE YOU DO THAT THE MORE YOU CREATE A LINE THAT IS THE WAY OUT OF THIS KIND OF MADNESS, THEN YOU HAVE TO BECOME MAD SO THAT IT SETTLES LIKE LETTING THE MADNESS DO ITS JOB,.S O THERE DIFFERENT KIND OF MADNESSES , ALSO MADNESS IS SOMETHING THAT HAS NO SHAPE, SO YOU HAVE TO LET THE DUST SETTLE. BUT FOR SURE THE WORDS PEOPLE EMPLOY DON T DENOTE THE REAL THING, WORDS SHIFT,
    BUT I LL THINK ABOUT CIVILISING MY MADNESS

  8. BETTER THE MYSTERY THAN THE MUNDANE , EVEN THE MYSTERY BECOMES MUNDANE , SO THEN YOU GO FOR ANOTHER ONE, I THINK IT IS THE REAL THING COMPARED TO EVERYTHING I TRIED, SO I LL DO THE BEST I CAN, TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE MYSTERY CAN DEFINITELY MAKE YOU MAD

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