Salome: The Seventh Queen

For you fiction lovers out there, the complete Part One of Salome: The Seventh  Queen is posted under under Fiction on the navigation bar, or you can find the chapters listed in the side bar.

It is a draft of my own work. Part Two will begin when I get a response for Part One. Critiques, feedback, all is good and will help me write a better story. This is a draft, not a finished piece, but hopefully entertaining.

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All commentators will recieve a free ebook of Salome: The Seventh Queen in its finished form just for helping and being interested.

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5 thoughts on “Salome: The Seventh Queen

  1. an you make the gates taller, and give the servants a bigger role in salome s quest especially the musician, i understand that it is part of salome personality that tjhis is only abou t her, but maybe they could help her without her noticing it like spirit helpers

  2. can you make the gates taller, and give the servants a more promine=nt position without salome seing it, cause i understand it would destroy her self importance, but maybe like spirit helpers that would actually have a more articulate presence, prominet was tjhe wrong word

  3. Those are great suggestions. The taller gates will increase the atmosphere of Ishtar’s power and the awesomeness of her domain.
    I have thought of putting the musicians back in. There is really no reason for them to vanish except to make it scary but i doesn’t work.

  4. Anonymous feedback for a reader to my email. very interesting points he makes.
    i read your story, so to me salome seems to be ishtar s heart,the heart with which she lost the god of harvest. it seems hard to imagine that the prophet is the enemy of ishtar,unless it is of a personnal reason a matter of the heart, by that i mean that the prophet is the god of harvest without a body.if ishtar is in the underworld i guess it is because she has to dance her way out of it, which is i guess why she got interrupted by ihstar cause her dance had no root inher heart . so basically ishtar is going through an initiation that will bring herself back to life, her and the god of harvest once the seven stars shine bright again.everytime she s going to meet a queen it is only going to be a part of her, just as she is going to meet a part of her lover, which is why he is going to forgive her in each of the seven stage, by which he reconstructs his body the queens and the kings are going to add up as the story progresses, all the queens she is going to see are going to be her by which she learns to relinquish her old self
    it is an interesting story which echoes many others, as an enigma, it is very interesting the way it is written, cause you want to understand how the prophet ended up going to war against ishtar, so yhe unravelling of the enigma gives you the beginning of the story that is missing, and when the beginning is missing it means you have been cut off from your heart. i don treally like how i ve put it, it is like a lunar initiation, maybe what you thought was the beginning is just the end, cause she will probably come back to life before anything happened thereby opening her eyes with him on the future past, making all the parts whole again. so in the end they are just both looking together at what happened with fiery eyes, cutting off a poisened harvest by reaching the seed, in which they make love,a nd the juices they produce make everything whole again, everything becomes water, the parts melt with each other creating a vas t ocean of infinity. i mnot really motivated by what i have written
    i like it as i don t remember much of this civilisation, though it is still very close to the beginning of everything, whereas egypt, is already a civilisation of science and understanding, doomed since the beginning just like all civilisations, cause it is based on a betrayal and slavery. so obviously isis put em down to bring them back to life, anyway

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